Friday, 11 November 2016

Once upon a time there was a girl, a girl who dreamt of being in a far away land with her knight in shining armour and a barn full of horses. Now this girl wasn't the princess in the fairy tales you read about all the time, no for this girl was the loner of the bunch, the girl who was overlooked for everything,the girl picked last in P.E, the girl who would never look in the mirror for she'd be afraid of what she'd find, the girl who hid at the back not wanting to be noticed; this girl was me.
It took a long time for this girl to step out into the sunshine into the wonderful ray of light she is now. It was a tough journey, one frawt with negativity and battles with family and friends, but one she would eventually win and be proud she fought through. Sometimes in life we fight battles and come out better people in the end. Don't we? That's what they say, 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' but sometimes we'd rather die than face up to reality.

We're good at hiding our real selves and only projecting to the world the self we want them to see, to believe we're living the life in the photos. The girl posting the photo of the palm trees, blue skies., lounger and sunshine with cocktail in hand may well be the girl who used to hide away. The girl who was bullied at school, the girl with cystic acne, the girl who was overweight at school, the girl who lived a lie her whole life, that girl could be me. In fact, it was me. But worse because no photos would be allowed and I'd shy away from anyone pointing a camera at me.

We rarely talk about that girl anymore, for she now only exists in the past and isn't that where she should stay? Hiding away forever, never truly seeing the light of day, she wanted it that way so why should she be seen? This new improved version is so much better we don't need the old one anymore, thank you. Put her away, forget she was ever the before version of the after. Few pictures of her old life remain but those that do serve as a reminder to never go back to that old girl, to stay on this path for it has served her well and there's no reason to step off it now.

The people she knows now do not know the girl of before, this new version being the one they see and love. Shouldn't they just know the after version and not be shown the before?? What does that matter? She knows the trials and tribulations, the ups and downs that have made her who she is today, she's earnt it hasn't she?? To only show the world the woman she is today, to not have to go back to the past, save for moments of indulgence. 

Yes, she'll show them the after and not worry about the before. They all have befores themselves anyway and she's not seeing theirs. Let the light shine down on this new version, this girl who now steps into the light instead of backing away from it. The knowledge she's learnt along the way can now be used for good, to inspire others along their own journey, knowing exactly how they will feel at certain times and how incredible they will feel at the end. 

Yes, this is what she will do now. No worries about anything that went before now. She will remember and at the end of the day, that's all that matters. xoxo

Love, Sarah

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