Thursday, 5 July 2018

My Dating History* | Relationships, One Night Stands and High School Boyfriends | Setting Myself Up On A Dating Website!

www.sunshinesarahxo.com

Dating, relationships, marriage and babies. That's kind of how it goes isn't it? Or at least that's what society would have you believe. Aren't we all meant to be finding love, settling down and popping out a few kids as soon as we leave university? Oh wait, I forgot, we have to find a great job first to be able to afford that amazing house, the 4 door car and the dog we're supposed to have. Alright then, let me get right on that.....pass me the wine whilst I set myself up on one of the many free dating sites available to us, trying not to inwardly cringe when asked to describe myself in three words......*gulp*

My dating history is really quite short. I had 'boyfriends' at school but that was nothing more than being coupled up for a couple of weeks, having awkward kisses at the school disco and gossiping about it all with your friends. After that I had one boyfriend at college, one at university (which wasn't so much as a relationship more of a bet between mates!) and then finally another more serious one after that. I have been single for many years now and bar the odd snog on a night out and a one night stand in Australia haven't found 'The One' we're all supposed to magically be able to find without any help from anyone. 

Why is it that you're seen as 'odd' and 'different' if you choose not to find love, settle down, buy a house and have babies?? If you read my post on why I don't want children you'll know that I'm by-passing the most natural urge many women have. (I'll not go into that here but I wanted to bring it up so you have some context.)

My friends have tried to set me up the various free dating websites which are available to us but I get embarrassed about being out there, setting myself up for a fall and laughs at their expense. I'm not seen as the pretty one of the group, always the third wheel in my group of friends and so this makes it even harder for me to make the first move and talk to a guy should I get the chance. I also suffer from social anxiety which makes it doubly hard not only for me to accept dates with men but to actually go out alone into a busy bar to meet them! 

But when I was actually in relationships I loved it. I loved having someone who was all mine and who would be there for me whatever, no questions asked. Someone to share my love of films with, feed me breakfast in bed (or beans on toast!) and go out on dates with. I really enjoyed taking my boyfriend at the time to some of my favourite places in Lincoln from my days at the University, showing him around and introducing him to my girl friends. Those days were great, finding we both shared a love of films, music and art, having something new to talk about which was previously undiscovered. 

I can see what I'm missing all around me, from friends who have recently got married, to family who are celebrating 40 years of marriage. It does makes me sad on some levels that I don't have that special someone but at the same time I love the freedom my single status affords me. Being able to do whatever I like, whenever I want and not have to tell anyone what I'm doing. You could say that I'm protecting my heart and to a certain extent perhaps I am - if I don't give it away it can't get broken. But also I have gotten so used to being single that I would find it hard to adjust to being in a relationship. The dynamics change so much when you share your life with someone else, having to think before accepting an invitation and working out what is best for you two in certain situations. I'm not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, just explaining how it is! 

What I'm getting at here is mainly that dating is fun, relationships are a minefield and I'm still trying to navigate it without setting off any landmines! 

Love, Sarah
xoxoxoxoxxoxo



*Collaborative post with Digital Dudes Ltd. 

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