So, if you’ve read my post on solo dating and living with social anxiety you’ll know how much I love doing activities by myself and not letting my anxiety hold me back.
Today I’d like to talk more in depth about the tips I mentioned in that post and how you too can enjoy an anxiety free first solo date.
The tips were as follows:
Go to a familiar cafe or restaurant
Start small
Take a book with you
Book in advance
Write it in your diary
Order your favourite food/drink
Wear comfortable clothes/shoes
Go to a familiar café or restaurant
Of course this one only applies if your chosen activity is to go out to eat or for a coffee but I think it’s a good rule of thumb for all activities.
You’re far more likely to repeat an action if you gained positive results from the initial experience. So, order your faves and enjoy!
Start small
This kind of links into the first one, but if you’re nervous about solo dating or just being by yourself in a restaurant is too much, then perhaps a coffee is a good place to start. It doesn’t take long, you can go back home afterwards and if you’re lucky, you may even spot a dog or two!
Take a book with you
A good crutch to have is a book, magazine or your phone with you to give you something to do with your hands, as well as acting as a barrier between yourself and the rest of the world.
It helps to block it out, much like having headphones & listening to music or a podcast would. Which is also another helpful tip, especially if you’re sensitive to noise.
Book in advance
You’re far more likely to follow through with an activity if you’ve already paid for it and got it in the diary. Not only does it give you something to look forward to, but if you pass on the activity you’re also wasting the money you’ve put towards it.
This could be an exercise class, pottery painting or cinema trip. So as long as you have the time to do your chosen activity, there’s likely no reason you’ll pass on it.
Write it in your diary
Much like the one above, if you’ve got an activity/reservation already in your calendar then you know exactly what you’ll be doing on any given day.
I always find that putting cinema trips, dates with myself or friends in my diary, always make my long work days/weeks fly by much faster!
Order your favourite food/drink
An easy one really. If you’re out at a cafe/restaurant as a solo activity then it’s likely you’ve chosen one which already has your favourite cuisine. But sometimes this may not be possible so it’s a good idea to have a look at their menu online first, to give you an idea of the cuisine they serve, their prices and if they cater to your dietary requirements like veganism, gluten free etc.
Nowadays it’s likely they will, but it’s always good to check beforehand to give you some reassurance.
Wear comfortable clothes/shoes
This is an important one, because if you’re not comfortable in the outfit you’ve chosen there’s no way you’re going to relax enough to enjoy the activity you’ve chosen to do. So if that’s something as simple as going for a walk or a run then make sure your shoes are comfortable and fit well, your wearing appropriate clothes for the weather (this may also mean a hat, scarf & gloves if it’s cold!) and that you’re happy with the clothes you’ve chosen to wear.
It’s important that things go well the first time and I believe that spending a few more minutes on your chosen outfit will pay dividends in the end and leave you more inclined to repeat the activity or even try something different next time!
I hope these tips have been helpful to you and that you do choose to go on a solo date this year. By starting small and building up lots of positive experiences, you’ll be more likely to repeat them and therefore build up the confidence to push yourself further out of your comfort zone each time.
Of course, if these steps are too much for you right now then that’s fair enough. You should always do whatever feels right for you in the moment and not push yourself too much if you can’t manage it. Look after yourself and perhaps build up to going out to a coffee shop or to the cinema alone.
Have you ever gone on a solo date? Let me know your thoughts below!
Sarah
xoxoxo
